I can hear you just fine. Really.

Yes, you are very important. There are things that cannot be done in this world unless whatever business you are conducting on the phone, loudly, at around 10pm.
As more people make use of their rear yards I’m becoming a bit more aware of their lives. Some more than others. There are a few folks who have decks and their voices sometimes bounce off the walls and wanders into the alley. When I’m in the backyard I can hear (and then smell) one neighbor fiddling around with his/her grill, screen doors opening and closing, light conversation with their guests, and cell phone guy. Okay, with cell phone guy sometimes I don’t even have to be in the backyard. Sometimes I hear him when I’m in my kitchen. I’m in my kitchen, with the windows closed, and I can still hear this guy.
Beyond the profanity and incoherent screaming, I think he is conducting business on the phone as I hear the word ‘contracts’ pop up on a regular basis. I pity the person on the receiving end of the call, if not for the abusive language, tone and volume, but the public nature of half the conversation. The backyard is not 100% private. Not when all of our homes are so small and close to each other. So what can be seen, heard and smelled in the backyard from someone else’s backyard is not exactly private. While I’m on this backyard kick…. kids, your homemade hookah, very ingenious, but trying to smoke it out the top of your back window is very likely to attract attention from anyone walking through the alley, looking out their window or in their back yard, ’cause it just looks weird. Instead, hang out with the kids who smoke on their back deck.
Of course in a world, a city, where people chatter on about the intimate details of their lives on cell phones while on the Metro, in the supermarket, and sadly in the public restroom, it should not surprise me that a loud cellular fight is brought to the semi enclosed back yard.

9 thoughts on “I can hear you just fine. Really.”

  1. I really don’t get you Marie. This man is obviously trying to impress upon you how cool and important he is. Aren’t you impressed with all of his deals and contracts? He probably knows you are listening and is trying to impress you because he likes you. You are being “nonsensical” as Lindy says. You should date him.

    BEWARE: I saw on Yahoo yesterday that men don’t live as long as women because it is so taxing trying to attract mates so run right home and proposition him because he is obviously running out of ideas and may not have much time left.


  2. OY! I struggle with the cramped space and what can be heard. My husband and I are squeezed between 3 neighbors who all live alone so they aren’t often talking (or having heated discussions) with anyone. Meanwhile, I wonder how much of our lives they must hear. I do believe we are the nose box in our row of houses, but at certain points, I don’t care who hears…until afterward. I have to guess that cell phone man could be a concientous person but with the fervor of f*bomb dialogue…he might forget at that moment to be concientous. And if it’s a daily or even weekly occurance, he might need to be medicated.

  3. Justin, you are nuts, fool. We are all going to die. One day. Men don’t live as long as women for many reasons. Cell phone guy’s early demise might relate to anger issues. It’s not healthy to be that angry. It’s probably not healthy to be around that angry negative energy. I may need to move.

  4. If cell phone guy’s screaming and profanity is a routine thing; then my impression is that he is not a legitimate business person. Perhaps he is conducting “business”, but it would be of the illicit variety.

    In the professional world, one doesn’t need to use screams of profanity to verbally decimate an adversary.


  5. Try being an underling. I have heard tale of bad bosses being very unprofessional to their employees, screaming, yelling, name calling what have you. He may be a bad boss. He might be trying to motivate his people in his special way. I don’t know and I really don’t want to care. Right now I’m trying to ignore a possibly drunken ugly couple acting out (dancin’ & romancin’) on the deck.

  6. I like being vague about where I live. But yeah, near Q.
    Also last night, after the ugly people (just my opinion, some may say I’m ugly, each their own) got too romantic for the deck there was the romance of the BBBs (bald, Black, and badazz), cell phone guy’s friends. Who wouldn’t you know it, are loud too! I poked my head out the window to see what the commotion was about. These two guys were yelling, getting up in each others’ face and I thought fists were going to fly the way they were going. But they calmed down and moved out of view. Yet the yelling and the machismo BS continued.

  7. Well, there is a house on Q… I forget the cross street. 3rd? NJ Ave? I dunno. Anyway, it is on the South side of the street. It is never a treat to walk by that place. Ten or a dozen dudes hanging out in front. The front yard is amazing because it is such a mess. The old chain link fence around the yard is the icing on the cake, and they have a mayoral candidate’s sign in the front yard! I’ve been tempted to take a pic of that front yard including the sign and send it to the candidate (I forget who that is, too).

    St. W.

Comments are closed.