I’m protective of the ‘hood

So this morning I was enjoying a cup of coffee and trying to figure out what I’d be up to for the day when I heard a loud knocking at the door. So I go downstairs, open the door and two women are standing outside. At least it’s not Contractor Guy again.

There’s a pause and one says, “Sir, how are you?” Me: “Fine, what can I help you with?” There’s a pause and one says, “We’re curious if you know what causes the problems around here?”

I think I know where this is going, but it’s a little annoying to have someone come to your door and try talk about your neighborhood’s problems when you’re having a quiet weekend morning to yourself. And I really don’t know where they live and I probably should have asked. If they actually live in the area I might have taken their question differently.

So I say, “What problems here?” and then get a really confused look from both of them. I pause and lean out the door, look up and down the street and then look back at them.

One, with an expansive Vanna White-esque gesture, signals my street is quite problematic and states, “The problems here.”

I look back at them, like I just don’t understand: “What problems?”

They explained that there is crime, violence, drugs, etc. and again rhetorically asked if I knew why they are problems. I’d have been a jerk if I brought up the DC government’s failings over the past several decades so I just say, “Yes, I know.” They offered me some scripture and left. No biggie.

I’ve got no problems with religion but I do get annoyed when people sell it door to door. If you insult my ‘hood and that just makes it worse… even if we do deserve the criticism. My ‘hood is like family. No matter how dysfunctional or busted, it’s only fair game for us to insult. Like family.