Elements of Crackhead design

My second floor toilet is a lovely example of crackhead design. The *&^%!! thing is incased in the tile. If I wanted to replace the toilet I’d have to replace the whole friggin’ floor. The toilet is supposed to sit on top of the floor, not in the floor. The following is a picture of what it should look like.
This is what I mean when I get annoyed with the house and proclaim that it was designed by crackheads. Well I know it was designed by an untrustworthy Nigerian named Sonny (Do not let this man design anything for you) and his crew of underpaid workers. I discovered late that although Sonny did work on several of the houses on the block, they were houses fixed for sale, not for living in. There is a huge difference.
Crackheads are cheap. They do crappy work. You will know a crackhead did your house when you look at something and go, “what the heck/hell/f*c* were they thinking?” It could be a toilet, or a wall, or a floor, or any little thing in the house where it just doesn’t make sense.

4 thoughts on “Elements of Crackhead design”

  1. Just found your blog, which I enjoyed immensely. This post in particular struck a chord!

    I used to live on 3rd & Q (2001-2004), and when I remodeled the crackhead-designed kitchen I got to fix obvious insanity, like removing the cabinets that half-blocked the kitchen window. I also learned that the oven electrical outlet had been insulated with newspaper.

    Alas, work made me move away, so I only enjoy Truxton Circle and DC vicariously now.

  2. It’s more than 2 years since the original post, but I finally understand it after visiting a house seemingly renovated by thugs. But aren’t these historic preservation neighborhoods? Is that a little wink-wink — not enough staff to review applications or check sobriety of the workers/contractors?

  3. Only- no this is not a historic reservation, and if it were, it would have no bearing on interior work and design. DCRA, the agency that regulates such matters, is not always on the ball, even when you send pictures and make 10 zazillion phone calls about a violation.

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