How much would you pay?

I’m having evil thoughts.
Once upon a time, long time ago, when DC real estate prices were starting to go crazy, like 2001, I made my friends an offer. If they bought a house or condo in Shaw I would give them $1,000 to help with closing costs. Did I have $1,000 just to give away? Not really, but I could sell some precious tobacco stock if needed. I figured it was worth $1,000 to have the people I loved blocks from where I lived, instead of out in the burbs. I offered it to Liz, to Gn, and MH. Liz bought in Alexandria and the other guys never bought anything. After some time the tobacco stock got sold to pay for the new kitchen.
Now I’m thinking, if I’m willing to pay to have people come to DC, would I be willing to pay for people to go away? How much would you pay for the crack head a few doors down to just pack up and move? What is it worth to you? $500? $2,000? $10? Of course, half the problems don’t even live here, they just hang out.