Hey Loudmouth Buppie Lawyer Dude

I can’t have my windows up because of you.
Yes, yes, you are very important, doing whatever it is that you do. I’m not sure if you were having a one-sided screaming match on your cell for work or pleasure, but you woke me up. On a rare moment when I thought I could feel free to open my bedroom window, let in the cool night air, and give the AC a break, you ruined it. Normally, I’d call the police. As a promise I made to another neighbor, who had the habit of getting loud with the help of electronics and booze, I said I’d be fair and call the cops on you when you got loud. That way, my 311/911 (I’m confused) noise complaint calls would be equal, regardless of class. Yet, the other night I was so tired, the only thing I could manage to do was close the window, collapse on the bed and sweat.
I feel pity for the people who live next door to you. I’m several doors down and I can hear you. I could hear your custody battle screaming. I could hear your gossipy VIPs in the DC government screaming. Please stop. I wish I could not hear you. I don’t want to hear you. I want to mind my own business, but that’s hard to do when you keep screaming.