House of the Quarter: Buy this house

Normally I wouldn’t ask but pleeeeeese buy this 3 brdm 1 bath house @ 401 R Street. Why? ‘Cause if you live there then maybe the dumbasses will stop hanging out on that corner. Also it is going for $355K, a steal I tell you a steal!

I don’t know what the story is, and if someone does know the story then please tell me. All I know is people live/lived there and they would hang out on their 4th Street side porch with other odd folks of the neighborhood. The porch is really cool. A porch where you can hang out, drink and watch the world pass by is always cool.

If you buy the house could you install a sprinkler system so the knuckleheads will move on? People don’t like getting wet. I find a sprinkler system, or just a plain old sprinkler a wonderful thing ’round the 4th of July.

But if you can borrow $355K or more please buy this house, fix it up, live in it and install a sprinkler system. If you do I’ll buy you and your spouse/ partner/ other SO/dog/ cat dinner.