House P-rn

Note: The title was changed as it kept attracting questionable searches. 6/17/08

Not Penthouse but This Old House.
Stuff that excites, titillates, but has no resemblance to your reality. This is house porn or decorator porn. Face it you don’t have the money, time, or skill (in my case a lack of skill and money) to get the same look that you saw on HGTV.

Ah, HGTV. The good reason I don’t have cable. When I am in a hotel or visiting a place with cable I am glued to HGTV. It is the Playboy channel for me. My mother, the worst homemaker in the world (but I love her anyways) did not really understand this whole business of wanting to go through the trouble of painting and pasting and building just to change the “look” of a room.

I have a whole bunch of decorating DIY magazines littering the house, some stuffed under my bed so I can go to sleep with house fantasies in my head. I need to weed my house of these things ’cause the truth with house porn, as with most porn, it ain’t gonna happen. I am not putting on addition anytime soon. The spiral stair idea is not right for my house. Open space, well I’m going to hire people to do that and I’ll need the $$$$$. Kitchen, done, can’t do no more. Bathroom, see open space. Can’t even do some of the garden ideas due to lack of space and sun.

Like most porn, it just leaves you frustrated.

Realtors on Crack
I’ve been looking at what’s for sale in my section of Shaw. And I must say someone has been smoking some serious crack when they thought of the prices for some of the homes.
Let’s look shall we.

MLS #:DC4805985 – 611 S St.- I pass it all the time. It is close to the metro, about one block, so yes, that counts for something. But 335K? It’s a little wooden detached (it’s wood, everything else is brick) with no basement. Nothing special about the house, slightly on the ugly side. I remember when it was around 100K 3 years ago.

MLS #:DC4795165 – 1254 NJ Ave. It’s short, it’s got a big front, it’s $695K. Over half a million dollars and you’re still in the hood! On a busy street… over 1/2 a mil, crazy crack.

MLS #:DC4790758 -1718 4th St- On a block I don’t even like walking down in the daytime. Nearly 1/2 a mil at $485K. Yes, nice rehab, but for that price?

Serious. Crack.