Grand Jury Duty pt. 4- How to not be part of a drug conspiracy

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I don't like drug conspiracies. For one, they are dealing with drugs. Secondly, in the hands of the wrong Asst. US Attorney (AUSA) the presentation is a long, painful, confusing activity that stretches out many, many days. There are 2 wonderful AUSAs who should give classes to other AUSAs on how to do it.
Anyway, the other thing I dislike about drug conspiracies, is that a whole lot of people get tangled in the dragnet, some people who I think might just be innocents. Say an AUSA presented a case with 5 targets. Targets A through D were shown to be horrible people, but Target E seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, with the wrong friends. The problem with indictments, is that it's all or nothing. Great thing about grand juries, it doesn't have to be unanimous and out of 20 some people only 12 have to vote for the indictment, so I am free to vote my conscience.
I am concerned about Target E and I would like to help make sure you do not become Target E. So here are my suggestions:
1. Don't keep stuff for drug dealers.
2. Don't let drug dealers have access to your house.
3. Don't have financial relations with drug dealers.
4. Don't have sexual relations with drug dealers.

1. Don't keep stuff for drug dealers. Even if it isn't drugs. If you keep cutting agents or ingredients such as the good cold meds (Meth) or bottles of nail polish (PCP) for a drug dealer, you too can be part of a conspiracy. Don't accept packages for drug dealers who aren't your neighbors. I don't think anyone would hold you liable if you pick up your next door neighbor's package to prevent it from getting stolen. If a drug dealer asks you to keep a mystery package, just say no.

2. Don't let drug dealers have access to your house
. This is related to the first point about keeping stuff for drug dealers. By letting them have access to your house, apartment, tree-house, whatever it allows them to keep stuff (drugs, guns, etc), unknown to you, in your house. Unfortunately, John Law don't care that you didn't know what it was, and ta-ta you're part of the conspiracy.

3. Don't have financial relations with drug dealers. To entertain myself I would engage in Monday Morning Money Laundering, where I would try to figure out how dealers could have better laundered their money without getting caught. I have to keep myself from falling asleep some how. Some ideas were fine as long as no one knew there was a dealer involved. Once the Feds get wind or start figuring out where the drug money goes, anyone involved is going to part of the conspiracy. One idea I had was have people write checks (less suspicious) in exchange for cash, but it links them to the dealer. Also it doesn't matter if you know what drugs are involved, if you launder money,  you're part of the conspiracy.

4. Don't have sexual relations with drug dealers. Unless you're married to them, because then you're probably not going to get subpenaed. Long-time girlfriends, baby mommas, and acquaintances with benefits are fair game. The nature of this point leads women (mostly) to violate points 1 & 2, maybe even 3. Unless you can prove that you were completely in the dark about the drug dealing (ie he had a normal job), get a lawyer. Ladies, the arrest of your man, or you being part of the wiretap, or him keeping contraband in your home along with his clothes and other stuff can seriously screw up your career or get you fired or have your kids taken away, depending on how it all goes down. Really, you can do better.

I should have a point 5. Okay, 5. Keep a safe friendly distance from drug dealers. It would be horrible luck if the day you felt pity for the dealer and started doing a favor for him/her, the same day the locals or the Feds started their wiretap or other investigative action. Oh and point #2 should include your car, RV, or self-storage pod.


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